The Truth on Sly Stalone Exposed by Australian Legal System!

...And other dopey moments. Welcome to the Tuesday edition of the Peak Dope!

How It Went: The Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony
Van Halen didn’t kill one another, undoubtedly because only two band members showed up: Michael Anthony and Sammy Hagar. Hagar had said several weeks back that he wouldn’t miss the ceremony; we can’t imagine his schedule is too full these days. Eddie Van Halen is stuck in rehab (no Cabo Wabo tequila for him*), his kid didn’t show up, and DLR was probably working on resuscitating someone somewhere (Eddie?). Who knows?

Patti Smith performed, dedicating her performance of Rock n’ Roll N------- to her mother because that was momma’s favorite song. Momma Smith used to vacuum to it! She also performed Because The Night and Gimme Shelter. With R.E.M. she sang I Wanna Be Your Dog by The Stooges. She accepted an award in the name of MC5 guitarist Fred Sonic Smith – her late husband.

Besides R.E.M., Van Halen, and Smith Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five were also inducted as were The Ronettes, Ronnnie didn’t thank ex-husband/producer/criminal Phil Spector, by the way.

*We have no idea if he’s in rehab because he’s a drunk, or possibly bulimic like Britney. See story below for her details.

Rambo Smuggles Drugs
Sly Stalone is in trouble with Australian authorities for trying to import 48 vials of a restricted growth hormone into the country. Looks like Sly could be out $22,000 – the maximum a local court can charge for the crime of importing a prohibited substance. Side effects of the drug Sly smuggled include facial deformities…that’s one less mystery we can wonder about ! Has he been sharing with Michael Jackson all these years? Great, now we’re wondering about something else.

The $56 Million Divorce Settlement
Word is Paul McCartney and Heather Mills are close to settling their divorce to the tune of $56 million dollars. The lesson here is to always sign a pre-nup because Paul sure didn’t.

Brad Delp’s Body Found by Fiancé
When Pamela Sullivan couldn’t reach her fiancé, she drove to his house to find him. Unfortunately she found him dead. No autopsy will be done on Brad Delp’s body, but the state medical examiner is waiting for toxicology reports to come in. Friends are shocked because Delp was a healthy guy and a vegetarian of three decades .

Guess What Britney’s Problem Is?
She has a couple, if you believe the rumors circulating now. She’s bipolar and bulimic. There you go .

Another Piece of Technology We Grew Up On Set to Die Out
First we lost eight tracks, reel-to-reels, then rotary phones, cassettes, VCRs…now, we anticipate the death of the rabbit ear antenna. So sad. But in less than a year, if you’ve still got one of these bunnies atop your set, it’s going to die. It’s just not going to work anymore as of February 19, 2009 unless you buy some kind of thing to update it. And if you’re going to go to that kind of trouble, why not just buy a giant, plasma, HDTV and really move ahead?