Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Peak Dope on Simon Cowell's Rehab Center (total fiction) and Elton John at Liz's Wedding (fact!)

The Peak Dope is where we take the bullet for you. We know there’s tons of useless stuff on the ‘net you’re dying to read but don’t have time to fit it all in. Guess what – the Peak staff has that kind of time. So here’s the Dope!

Movie Critics Know Nothing About Making Money
Nasty reviews for Wild Hogs were all over the place talking about what a horrible film it was – yet it brought in the big bucks over the weekend. And you thought Zodiac was the must-see film! Ha!

Guess what? Libby is Found Guilty
Scooter is found guilty of lying to the FBI, obstruction, and perjury. No wonder Cheney’s on blood thinners! Anyway, you don’t read the Peak Dope for that stuff. So how about a Britney Spears story?

This One Originally Came From the British Tabloids
So we initially ignored it yesterday and besides, we were too enamored with Bono’s NAACP Image Award – see post below. But now it’s making the rounds and we don’t want you hanging around the water cooler unable to put in your two cents about how Britney Spears is the anti-Christ. She wrote “666” on her head and tried to hang herself prison style with a bed sheet. She failed in her attempt.

Why Simon Cowell is Still the Coolest Guy Ever
It sounds like he’d like to smack Britney around. Actually, a Simon Cowell rehab center doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. Forget Betty Ford when you can take the hard line at Simon’s rehab. You get sent to a third-world country (like New Orleans) to see how rough life really can be.

Before you think that’s in bad taste, ask anyone from N’Awlins about what it was like when that hurricane hit. Then open your wallet !

Elton John Gives Away Liz Hurley
She dumped that philandering Hugh Grant ages ago and is now engaged in five days of celebration as she marries Indian businessman Arun Nayar. We’re talking about Liz Hurley of Estee Lauder and Austin Powers fame. Nayar knows how to take care of a lady too, buying Liz a diamond necklace worth over 16 grand. Elton John is filling all roles possible in Liz’s wedding except matron of honor. He gave Liz away since her own father has passed on and even did some wedding music by performing Your Song. Chicks planning weddings right now take note because this is how it’s done.

Got a problem with the Peak Dope? Send hate mail to: Heather@987thepeak.com.

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