End of the Week Peak Dope Extravaganza!

We check in with everyone from Guns n' Roses to Kevin Federline

If for no other reason, because it's fun. You don't admit you read this stuff, but you do.

And The Dead Body Goes To…
Howard.

Oh, do you need more explanation than that? Fine then. Howard K. Stern has been awarded custody of Anna Nicole Smith’s dead body so that it can be buried next to that of her son. The judge lost his last shred of professionalism as he handed down the decision in tears. That’s right – he cried like he was watching a chick flick. One thing is for sure – this story may go away someday but its weirdness never will.


Guess Who is Going to Try Rehab Again?
Here’s the other story that won’t go away. Britney Spears has checked herself into rehab again. Possibly this time she will stick around to hit the 24-hour mark? We’ll wait and see. Rumor is her mother drove her back to rehab after she tried to see her kids and failed because Kevin Federline wouldn’t let her in his house. In what may be the best headline ever, TheAge.com is reporting “Britney spears SUV,” and shows photos of her stabbing an SUV with an umbrella. Public mental breakdowns by the super-famous are so very entertaining.


Who Are You Calling a Bitch?
You can use the word when referring to a female dog, right? Because we are, and so is a Seattle store for pampered dogs called “High Maintenance Bitch.” Residents of the progressive city are taking offense. There is no comment from dogs who use the products with names like “Street Walker Paw Cleanser.”


G n' R Delays Release of New Album – if That’s News to You.
This shouldn’t surprise anyone, but Guns n’ Roses has once again delayed the release of their new album in a move to further waste even more record label money. We’re just sayin’. Maybe Axl Rose’s prison cornrows are wound too tight? Maybe he should go to rehab with Britney? We could make up excuses for this latest setback all day.


Actual Positive News Related to Former Guns N’ Roses Member!
Now that is news! According to Ultimate-Guitar.com, Slash is going to be writing his autobiography and it will be out as early as this fall.

The Devil Woman Gets a Job!
Hedging her bets that she may only win a few million in her divorce from Paul McCartney, Heather Mills has taken a spot on Dancing With The Stars. She will be the first woman to dance on the show wearing a prosthetic leg – and with a Beatle’s cool millions possibly in her pocket by then.


Reminder: The Oscars Air Sunday Night!
The Departed or Dream Girls will probably win the most awards. That’s just what we hear from people.